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Finding Your Voice, A Doula's Perspective

One of the most important lessons you will ever learn is how to use your voice. Babies come into this world in the most vocal of ways: crying, cooing, giggling and grunting. But as we grow into adulthood, we are often taught to "lower your voice", "use your inside voice","don't speak unless you're spoken to" and a million other ways of tempering how what's inside of you makes it way to the outside world. Imagine for a moment if you didn't have that internalized programing floating through your brain. How freeing would it be to express yourself yourself in a way that made you feel seen, heard and understood? Right now, today, give yourself permission to use your voice.

Why does this matter and what the heck does it have to do with birth? For starters, you will be the voice for a tiny little human until they have the means to do so themselves. Even more importantly though is that you are your own best advocate. You will be asked to make all kinds of decisions around your own care as well as your child's care. It's time to get comfortable with telling people what you want or don't want, what you like or don't like, what feels good or what doesn't feel good, where and how to touch and maybe most important, how to give or take away consent. The ability to vocalize your thoughts and feelings are a gift, not to be suppressed, but to be explored and cultivated. Does it take time and effort to unlearn, or better yet, re-learn how to make yourself heard in a way that invokes empathy, encourages collaboration, but provides a sense of freedom in a way that feels authentic? You bet! It also takes an immense amount of courage and the ability to grant yourself the grace to fail and try again. I assure you, the reward for taking the path that leads to unlocking your inner voice paves the way for a more rewarding and fulfilling life. And yes, that absolutely translates to having a better birth and postpartum experience as well as a more deeply connected life!

I recently had a sit down with one of my clients and she mentioned how repeatedly during her first birth experience, she did not feel like a human being. We talked about how she knew she should have spoken up and said what was on her mind, but she didn't want to offend those providing her care. This is such a common theme and something I hear time and time again. We worked on effective communication, self advocacy and consent. What this really comes down to is feeling safe and secure in using your voice. So start with giving yourself permission to speak freely. I encouraged her to do this exercise everyday. Feel free to try it yourself. Each morning, look yourself in the mirror for a few minutes and say "My voice is powerful, I use it freely." I would also add "I am valuable, I deserve to be seen and heard." Then put those words into practice in all areas of your life daily. That is the first step to regaining your autonomy and voice in this world. And what better gift to give your family and your new tiny little human than showing up as the most authentic version of you?

For more tips on birth, postpartum or help channeling a more deeply connected & authentic life, you can find me:


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